Tuesday, June 28, 2005

 

Man claims dead body is the third he's found

Published June 28 on The Herald-Mail.
 

Man robbed after friendly chat

Published June 28 on The Australian.

I hate it when that happens!
 

Man to mine gold on Maleny supermarket site

Published June 28 on ABC news.net.au (Australia).

"A man has been given permission to mine for gold on a controversial supermarket site at Maleny in Queensland's Sunshine Coast hinterland. Locals have been protesting against the development, saying it will endanger a nearby platypus habitat."

What the...
 

Man is killing the wild

Published June 28 on News24.com (South Africa news site).

Holy crap, Man must be stopped!
 

Man With Bong Attacks Police Dispatcher

Published June 24 on Yahoo! News (AP).

Was Man holding the bong when he attacked? Or was it just kind of with him? Again, credit to Mr. Mike for this one.
 

Man Swallows Key, Locksmith Uses X-Ray

Published June 24 on Yahoo! News (AP story).

Is this some kind of analogy? I don't get it. Credit goes to Mr. Mike.

Monday, June 27, 2005

 

Man Gets New 12-Foot Weenie

Published on the Web site of Fox News on June 26, 2005.

Uh...okay.
 

Man probed for wearing unearned Medal of Honor

Published on Web site of WWMT TV on June 27, 2005.

Man probed: "Hey, cut it out!"
 

Man dies after egg attacks on home

Published on the Scotsman.com on June 27, 2005.

A 56-year-old father of five collapsed and died after teenage yobs repeatedly pelted his house with eggs, it emerged today.
 

Man teeters on bridge; road closed

Published in the San Diego Union-Tribune on June 27, 2005.
 

Man hurt by sword in mock battle

Published on BBC News Web site on June 27, 2005

Sunday, June 26, 2005

 

Man accused of kindergarten arson

Published June 26 on News.com.au (Australian news site).

All these years and they just now caught up with Man?
 

Half-ton man loses 573 lbs in year: 'I look a little more like a human being'

Published June 26 on Canada.com.

Friday, June 24, 2005

 

Man dies after lightning strikes metal cross

Published June 23 on Yahoo! News (Reuters story).

Again, what are the freaking chances. And it happened at a funeral, no less!
 

Man dies after being hit in head by shot put at track meet

Published June 23 on USAToday.com.

What are the freakin chances of that happening?? Poor Man. And thanks Mr. Mike for passing it along!

Thursday, June 23, 2005

 

Police: Man Fills Out Job Application, Robs Restaurant

Appeared on the Web site of KSBW TV on June 23, 2005
 

Man killed by lightning at funeral

Appeared in the Herald Sun on June 24, 2005

That has to be a double-whammy.
 

Hillary Clinton attacked by man from Mars

Appeared in the Washington Post on June 23, 2005.

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

 

Police seek man

Appeared in The Times of New Zealand on June 23, 2005.

Simple.
 

Man wakes up with a bullet in his tongue

AP story ran in the Boston Globe on June 21, 2005.

What the...?
 

Man who slept with body found guilty

A Rolling Meadows man who claimed he accidentally killed his ex-wife and then slept with her body for three days because he couldn't bear to leave her was found guilty of murder Tuesday.

Appeared in the Chicago Sun-Times on June 22, 2005.

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

 

Man puts out fiancee's one good eye

Published June 21 on IOL.com (South Africa news site).

Man: what a jerk!
 

Man kicked out of bar, returns with gun and shoots

Published June 20 in the Kansas City Star.

Shoots... of bamboo? Did they mean chutes? Ha ha.
 

Man dies after punch sends him into traffic

Published June 21 on TampaBay's10.com (a television news site).
 

'Smelly' man kills woman

Published June 20 on News24.com (South Africa news site).
 

Police Kill Man With Dud Grenade at Court

Published June 21 on Yahoo! News (AP story).

But if it was a dud grenade, how did it kill him?

This headline comes courtesy of Mr. Mike. Thanks Mr. Mike!

Monday, June 20, 2005

 

Man punished for doing business in prison

Reuters story appeared on the Hindustan Times on June 20, 2005.

What did they want him to do? Hold it?

Sunday, June 19, 2005

 

Man 'left for dead' after yob attack

Published June 19 on ITV.com (UK television network).

Apparently, a "yob" is a gang of youths "spoiling for trouble."
 

Man Accused of Growing Pot at Grandma's

Published June 19 on WashingtonPost.com.

Thursday, June 16, 2005

 

Man impales eye on car antenna after bike crash

Appeared in the Utah Daily Herald on June 16, 2005.

Ouch!
 

Man kills sex-crazed wife

Appeared on the Web site of News24.com on June 15, 2005.

A German court has sent a man to a psychiatric institution after he cut off his penis and killed his sex-crazed wife. The man allegedly cut off his own penis because of the incessant sexual demands of his wife.

Poor Man

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

 

Man turns himself in for stealing dead man's wallet

Appeared on Sun-Herald.com on June 15, 2005.
 

Man hiding from police dies in attic when temperature soars

Appeared on the 10tv.com on June 15, 2005

"Honey, you can come down now, the police are gone and it's safe to come down...Honey?"
 

Man hit in head by train released from hospital

Published June 15 in the Chicago Sun-Times.

How does one get hit in the head by a train, exactly?
 

Man strips naked to interview a woman!

Published June 15 on Hindustantimes.com.

This one is extra special because it has an exclamation point!

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

 

Man threatens to burn down waffle house

Appeared on WCAV-TV on June 13, 2005.
 

Man begins to recover from chimpanzee attack

Appeared on KGET.com on June 13, 2005.

Huh?
 

Man missing penis strolls Jerusalem

Appeared on Ynetnews.com on June 13, 2005.
 

Man in boxer shorts creates disturbance

Appeared in the Oconomowoc Focus on June 14, 2005.

Monday, June 13, 2005

 

Man, 90, fights off burglar

Published June 14 on National Nine News (Australian news site).

Is this Man somehow related to the old Man running the marathon? I had to include it for that reason. Will there be a third headline about a super-old Man?
 

Man punched twice because he didn't 'mind his own business'

Published June 12 on LufkinDailyNews.com.
 

Naked man plucked from Rock River by police

Published June 13 on Quad-Cities Online.

Ewwww.
 

Man, 94, in marathon

Published Monday, June 13, on icDunbartonshire (Scottish news site).

Go Man, go!

Friday, June 10, 2005

 

Man crashes car into house, eats taco

Published June 10 in the Keizertimes newspaper (keizertimes.com), Keizer, Ore.
 

Man's 13-foot python slithers off, makes TV debut

Published June 10 in the South Florida Sun-Sentinel (SunSentinel.com).
 

Man sought in gropings, streakings at N.H. beach

Published June 10 in The Boston Globe (boston.com).

SICK!!!
 

Man jailed over burglary on run

Published June 10 on BBC News.

Kind of like a drive-through burglary?
 

Police: Man used mirror to look up girl's skirt

Published June 10 on Newsday.com.

Man: What a perv!
 

Man admits filching city asphalt

Published June 10 in the Chicago Tribune.

Man just needed some damn asphalt, is that so wrong?

I just love it when the word "filch" is used in a headline. Almost as much as I love Man headlines.
 

Man serving two life terms will remain in prison

Published June 10 in the Atlanta Journal-Constitution (ajc.com).

Two life sentences ... gee you think?
 

Man Shot In Head While Eating At Checkers Restaurant

Published June 9 on Yahoo! News.

Courtesy of Mr. Mike Crain.
"Can't Man just get a burger without getting hurt?" he writes.

What is this world coming to?

Thursday, June 09, 2005

 

Man Gets Probation for Harassing Woman With Spam

Appeared on the Web site of WTOP radio on June 9.

"Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam..."
 

Man recalls botched abduction by Japanese

Published June 9 on ChinaDaily.com.

"Remember the time the Japanese tried to abduct me? Boy, they really botched it. That was great..."

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

 

Woman in court: "Man was Lewd"

Appeared in the UK's News & Start on June 6.

This isn't as fun as the original Story of Man discussions. Headlines were decidedly humorous additions to the Story of Man collection by community vote. If we liked them, they were glued to the wall. On it's own, this isn't that funny, but it becomes funny when you picture H. standing up and talking in his high fake British accent, saying, "Ee was lewd!" So,I am submitting this.
 

Man delivers 4 pizzas after getting shot

Appeared on AZCentral.com on June 8.

That Man, nothing gets in his way.
 

Man out on bond allegedly runs over friend while DUI

Appeared in the Kansas City Star on June 8.
 

Man's leg, torso fall out of plane in NY

This story appeared in the Washington Post on June 8.

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

 

Police wrap: Intruder douses man in petrol

Published June 8 on TheAge.com (Australian news).
 

Man With Chain Saw Allowed to Enter U.S.

Published Tuesday, June 7, on ABCNews.com (AP story).

Holy crap!



I had to put this guy's picture in here. Creepy
DS
 

Naked dancing man arrested

Appeared in the Worcester Standard on June 7.
 

Area man acquires giant truck

Appeared in the The Free-Lance Star of Fredericksburg, VA. on June 7.
 

Man accused of beating girlfriend with bible to be tried for attempted murder

Appeared in the Detroit Free Press on June 6.

WWJD? Any "bible thumper" jokes? Anyone? Anyone?

Thursday, June 02, 2005

 

Man mugged twice more before police arrive

Published Thursday, June 2, on New Zealand Herald.com.

Sounds like it was a rough night out for Man.
 

Man injured by exploding bomb hurt himself

Published Thursday, June 2, on Newsday.com.

Man only has himself to blame.
 

Man Injured in Toilet Blast Files Suit

Published Thursday, June 2, on WashingtonPost.com.

Question: what was the source of the gas that exploded the toilet?

"(John) Jenkins, a North West Fuels Development Inc. methane power plant operator, entered a portable toilet, sat down and tried to light a cigarette."
 

Man allegedly tapes his family in bathroom

Published Thursday, June 2, on Boston.com (Boston Globe).

"A state corrections officer faces charges that he secretly videotaped members of his family as they used the bathroom."

What is wrong with Man?
 

Police: Man stealing gas uses lighter to check on progress

Uh oh.

Glen Germain Junior of Warrensburg, New York was transferring the fuel from a truck to a gas can when he used a lighter to see how full the container had become. That sparked a fire that caused minor burns to his face and hands. The fire spread to a nearby forklift, which was destroyed in the blaze.

From WSTM TV in New York

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